Episode 18 – Feedback for Excellence
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There seems to be general agreement that feedback is important for personal development. However there seems much less agreement of how that is best managed. As leaders, we focus on feedback to help people to do better. But how should we deliver feedback to be most effective?
Are we even agreed what “feedback” really is? Is it a tool for ensuring competence through “performance management”, or is it better used as a means of developing excellence?
This podcast is AI-generated based on material from the “Agile Plays” website and book and also refers to the HBR article “The Feedback Fallacy”.
Transcript
Hey, everyone, and welcome back for another deep dive. Today, we're gonna be talking about something that's pretty important to all of us. Yeah. Feedback. But we're not talking about that yearly review you get.
Mhmm. That dreaded yearly review. We're talking about the kind of feedback that can help us unlock true excellence. And we've actually got some really interesting research for this deep dive that challenges the way we usually think about feedback. You know, some real kinda conventional wisdom on this.
So It's fascinating stuff. Yeah. It really is. So stick with this because this is gonna be a really interesting conversation, I think. Mhmm.
So I think one of the things we wanted to start with is that, you know, in the business world in particular Uh-huh. There's this strong belief, almost like a religion Right. That the more feedback we give and receive Yeah. The better we'll all perform. Right.
But research actually shows us something different. The research shows us that, there's a thing called the feedback fallacy. Interesting. And it suggests that our obsession with feedback might be, based on some ideas that really aren't all that true. Yeah.
And so that fallacy is really stemming from these 3 kind of flawed theories about how feedback works. So the first is this theory of the source of truth. Okay. This idea that people looking at us, somehow they're more aware of our weaknesses Right. Than we are ourselves.
Yeah. But have you ever thought about it? Everyone's really seeing the world through their own Yeah. Unique lens. You know?
So human judgment is incredibly subjective. It really is. And I think there's that saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Right. Exactly.
And I think that it applies here as well. You know, our evaluations of other people Yeah. Are often more about us and our biases Yeah. Than they are some kind of objective truth about the other person. Totally.
And, you know, on on top of that, then there's this theory of learning, which sees learning as if, you know, you're like this empty vessel. Right? And someone just pours knowledge into you, problem solved. Yeah. Fill in the gaps.
Fill in the gaps. Boom. You're done. You're good. But, you know, neuroscience has shown us that learning is way more complicated than that.
Right? Yeah. It's really about building on what we already know, not just filling gaps. And I think the key takeaway there, for me at least, is that we shouldn't be treating people like empty buckets just waiting to be filled. We should be helping them build on their existing strengths.
Those things that make them really shine. You know what I mean? Absolutely. And then, you know, the third flawed theory is the theory of excellence. Okay.
And it suggests that there's just this universal model of great performance that, you know, we should all be striving to copy. Right? Like a one size fits all. Yeah. One size fits all.
Excellence. Yeah. But, I mean, really, excellence is not one size fits all, is it? No. It's really not.
Mhmm. It's much more about recognizing that, Right. Everybody has their own unique path Yeah. To excellence. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Like, all those times you've gotten advice that just didn't feel right, that just didn't click for you. That's probably, you know, an example of this theory of excellence at work, someone giving you advice that worked for them, but that doesn't work for you. Absolutely. And when you try to force everyone to fit the same mold, it actually, you know, kills creativity, and it really hinders true excellence.
Right? What we're seeing now is that there's this idea of idiosyncratic excellence. I love that phrase. Yeah. It's a good one.
Right? Where we understand that each person has their own unique version of excellence Right. Which is an expression of their own strengths and talents. So how does all of this really relate to how we actually Yeah. Give and receive feedback?
You know? If we're saying that this model we've been using is, flawed Mhmm. Where do we even start? Well, first thing we gotta do is we gotta, we gotta look at this difference between feedback. Yeah.
So there's feedback for basic competence Yeah. And there's feedback for cultivating excellence. Okay. So, like, 2 different types? Two different types.
There are those times when clear instructions and really pointing out errors is essential for establishing competence. So, for example, think about nurses, you know, being taught the correct way to administer medication. There's a right way to do that for everybody's safety. Right? But when we're talking about nurturing excellence Yeah.
It's not about just pointing out mistakes. It's about recognizing and amplifying those moments of brilliance, those sparks that really make exceptional performance happen. You know, that actually ties in really nicely with the values espoused by Agile Manifesto. Uh-huh. So, you know, you've got the items on the right of the Agile Manifesto processes and tools.
Those are important. Sure. Yeah. But they're more about achieving basic competence. Yeah.
But the real magic happens when we prioritize those values on the left. Right. Individuals and their interactions. Yeah. You're exactly right.
The Agile manifesto really Yeah. Highlights the power of using those individual strengths and encouraging collaboration to really drive innovation. Right. Yeah. And you actually see that reflected in how some innovative leaders Yeah.
Approach feedback. Yeah. I'm thinking specifically of Yeah. Jensen Huang, the CEO of NVIDIA. Yes.
Great example. He's known for not doing those traditional 1 on 1 performance reviews. Nope. He does something much more immediate and public. Yeah.
So instead of waiting for those scheduled meetings Yeah. Huang, he really believes in giving that feedback right in the moment when something incredible happens. So imagine, like, a software engineer. Right? She just nailed some super complex coding challenge.
Yeah. And then, right then and there in front of the whole team, Huang might call out her brilliance and say something like, wow, Sarah. That was amazing. You found a solution that nobody else saw. So elegant.
Exactly. And that immediate recognition, right, that public acknowledgment of excellence Yeah. Is so powerful. Of course, this does require, you know, a high level of psychological safety Right. Within the team, but it really does exemplify how we can use feedback to create a culture Mhmm.
Where excellence is not just, you know, expected Right. But celebrated. Yeah. It really makes you think, like, what if we treated those moments of brilliance as the most important things, the highest priority, you know, to capture, to analyze. Really understand that.
Yeah. Like, almost like a mindset shift. Yeah. You know? Where instead of jumping to correct mistakes, we focus on really dissecting what worked, what led to that amazing outcome.
That's a really powerful way to think about it, recognizing those sparks of brilliance Yeah. As they're happening and figuring out how we can fan them into flames. This is really making me rethink my whole approach to feedback. Yeah. Instead of tearing people down Yeah.
It's about building them up, you know, recognizing their strengths Uh-huh. And fueling your potential. Absolutely. And that's where the real magic is. When we move away from this model of feedback, that's kinda deficit based.
Right? Yeah. And we really embrace a strengths based approach Yeah. Then we unlock a whole new level of growth and achievement. Yeah.
Yeah. So if we're gonna shift our focus from, you know, criticizing weaknesses Mhmm. To really cultivating strengths Right. What does that actually look like? Yeah.
Like, in practice? Yeah. How do we give people feedback Yeah. That actually helps them excel? Well, I think one of the the most important things is to kind of reframe how we even think about feedback.
So instead of seeing it as criticism, see it as a catalyst for growth. So instead of focusing on what went wrong, focus on what went right. Highlight those moments of excellence and really help people understand why they were successful. So it's kinda like changing the conversation from what went wrong to what went right. Exactly.
But how do we actually do that effectively? Like, it's easy to point out when somebody makes a mistake, but how do we even capture how do we even articulate Right. Those subtle things that really lead to excellence? Yeah. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Well, one really powerful technique is to focus on the outcomes. So when you see somebody achieve a remarkable outcome, stop and really acknowledge it. And don't just say good job. Go deeper than that.
Describe what you observed Yeah. And how it made you feel. So for example, you could say, when you presented that idea, I felt like the energy in the room completely shifted. Everyone was suddenly leaning in. You know, they wanted to hear more.
So it's about articulating that in instinctive reaction those times when you genuinely felt impressed or inspired by what somebody did. Absolutely. Those reactions are really your truth, your gut feeling. Uh-huh. And they offer such a valuable perspective that can help people understand the true impact of their actions.
Yeah. Think about, it's like replaying winning plays. Right? Exactly. Like that legendary Dallas cowboys coach, Tom Landry.
Oh, yeah. He used to do this with his players. Yep. He would he would focus on showing them what they did well Yeah. Not dwelling on the mistakes.
Oh, holy. He understood that recognizing and reinforcing strength That was really the key to unlocking their potential. Absolutely. And, you know, it all starts with that conscious decision to make recognizing excellence our highest priority interrupt. So instead of immediately jumping in to correct a mistake, we need to stop, you know, pay attention and really dissect what worked so we can learn from it and replicate it.
Yeah. It's all about cultivating that mindset that that prioritizes growth Yes. And excellence, not just fixing problems. It's a shift in perspective Yeah. That can have a huge impact on our teams and and ourselves too.
For sure. And speaking of shifting perspectives, let's talk about those times when someone comes to us asking for feedback. How can we guide them in a way that really empowers them to find their own solutions? That's such a good point. Instead of just, you know, giving them the answer, how can we help them tap into their own Right.
Wisdom and experience? Yeah. Well, you know, try this 3 pronged approach. 1st, explore the present. So acknowledge the challenge that they're facing, and then ask them to identify 3 things that are working well for them right now k.
Even in this difficult situation. This really helps shift their mindset to be more positive and solution oriented. So it's about getting them to focus on their strengths and what's already going well Yeah. Even when they're, you know, in the middle of a challenge. Right.
It really reminds them of their own resourcefulness and their resilience, and then you can revisit the past. So encourage them to remember those times Yeah. When they successfully dealt with similar challenges. Ask them, you know, when you faced this kind of situation before, what worked for you? What strategies did you use?
What strengths did you draw on? That's a great point. It helps them, you know, connect with their own experience and realize that they already have the tools they need. Yeah. They've done it before.
They can do it again. Exactly. And then finally, you can help them envision the future. Guide them to really articulate what they already know they need to do and what's worked for them in the past. So ask them, what do you already know you need to do to move forward?
What has worked for you in the past that you can apply to this situation? It's amazing how just asking these kinds of questions can empower people to find their own solutions. It's not about us giving them the answers. Right. It's about guiding them to discover their own.
And that's where the real magic happens. When people really own their solutions, they're so much more committed to implementing them, you know, and seeing them through. They feel that sense of agency and empowerment Right. That really fuels their motivation and their drive. This is really a whole new way to think about feedback, isn't it?
Yeah. It's not about judgment or criticism. It's about support and empowerment. It's about recognizing that everyone has that potential for excellence within them. And sometimes all it takes is a little nudge, you know, a few well placed questions to help them tap into that potential and just soar.
I love that imagery tapping into potential and soaring. Right. So much more inspiring Yeah. Than that old way of thinking about feedback. You felt like, you know Yeah.
Like a heavyweight dragging people down. Down. It really did. And that's really the shift that we need to make. Feedback should be a force that lifts people up, not weighs them down.
Right? Yeah. It should be a catalyst for growth, not a weapon for criticism. This whole deep dive has given me so much to think about. Yeah.
You know, both how I give feedback and how I get it. Right. It's made me realize I need to be more intentional Yeah. You know, about recognizing and amplifying excellence, both in myself Yeah. And in others.
That's a fantastic insight. And remember, it's a journey Right. Not a destination. Yeah. We're all constantly learning and evolving.
And this new approach to feedback, it's really just a tool Yeah. To help us along that path. So how can we, you know, take this new understanding of feedback Yeah. And apply it to our everyday lives? How do we make it a habit to really recognize and amplify excellence?
Well, one simple but really powerful practice Yeah. Is to just make a point of acknowledging and appreciating Yeah. The good things people do. Right? So catch them doing things appreciating Yeah.
The good things people do. Right? So catch them doing things right Right. And let them know you noticed. Yeah.
Don't wait for some formal performance review. Tell them how much you value their contributions. Express your appreciation right then in the moment when it matters most. It's about making those moments of recognition our highest priority interrupt. Yeah.
Exactly. And, you know, when you do give feedback, be mindful of your language. So focus on the specific behavior, not the person. Yeah. Describe what you observed Right.
And how it impacted you without making judgments or assumptions about their intentions. So instead of saying, you're doing a great job, which is kind of Yeah. You know? Yeah. Jeanette Be specific.
You know, you might say something like, I really appreciate how you handled that difficult customer. You know? Your patience and empathy really made a difference. That's a great example. You're acknowledging the specific behavior Yep.
And its positive impact, which is so much more meaningful and helpful Right. Than just some general compliment. Yeah. It really is. It helps create that, safe space.
Yeah. That constructive environment for feedback, you know, takes the sting out of, criticism Right. And makes it feel more like a collaboration. You know, like, we're working together Exactly. To improve, to understand each other better, to communicate better.
Yeah. And remember, the goal of feedback is not to tear people down. Right. It's to build them up. Yeah.
It's to help them grow Uh-huh. Learn and become the best versions of themselves. It's been such an insightful conversation. Yeah. It has.
It's really, you know, shifted my perspective on feedback. That's great. It's not this scary, judgmental thing to be avoided anymore. You know? It's a tool for growth, empowerment, you know, and for excellence.
I'm so glad to hear that. It's been a real pleasure exploring this topic with you. Likewise. And with all of you listening, thank you so much for joining us on this deep dive Yeah. Into the world of feedback.
We hope you've gotten some valuable insights that you can apply to your own lives. As we wrap up, you know, we wanna leave you with a question, something to think about as you go about your day. This whole conversation, it's really highlighted that feedback isn't just about, you know, addressing problems. Right. It's about recognizing and nurturing those sparks of brilliance, those moments when somebody truly shines.
So here's the question for you. What is your highest priority interrupt? Is it correcting mistakes, or is it amplifying excellence? Think about it. Which one is really gonna move the needle in your life, your work, your relationships?
And we challenge you to make that conscious choice. Yeah. Prioritize those moments of. You know? Capture them, analyze them, and celebrate them.
You might be surprised by the ripple effect it creates, not just in others, but in yourself as well. Absolutely. Thanks for joining us on the deep dive. Yeah. Thanks, everyone.
Until next time. Keep diving deeper. Keep learning. Striving for excellence. Yeah.
And keep those sparks of brilliance burning bright. Do you?
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